I don't want to do this

Sea Lions getting destroyed by waves near North Inian Passage

F! I am really struggling with this move. I know that there are two things going on here. One is just my attachment to Thorne Bay…I was ready to go back to something that I was comfortable and familiar with: kids, staff, town, etc. My decision to sign a contract last spring was a tough one. Eventually I ended up signing it because I was comfortable and I didn’t have time to look for a new job with the requirements of my current job and attempting to finish my teaching program. My decision pretty much came down to the fact that I was offered a full-time position in Thorne Bay, primarily teaching social studies. Not an easy position to secure. I also took into consideration the fact that I have friends and a sense of community in Thorne Bay. While my living situation was not perfect, I was comfortable and could not stand the idea of looking for a new job or worse, not teaching this year. After I signed my contract in April I was relieved that I had done so. I knew that it was the right decision.

Now, I’m just angry. It’s been a lot harder to get over this situation than I was anticipating. The reality is that I don’t want to be teaching or living in Coffman Cove. I don’t really see how this is going to prepare me for the future. I’m a secondary social studies teacher. I don't have any interest in teaching elementary or running a school. I’m not looking forward to all the bullshit that comes with being at such a small site. Fundraising and PTA’s make me sick. Not to mention the people out here are so crazy. This is not at all what I thought I was signing up for and I’m really sad and very angry. To add insult to injury, I can’t find a place to live. So I’m currently commuting from Thorne Bay. I’m seriously considering quitting. I don't know if I can get over this.