This has got to be a joke

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Missing my Mommy right about now.

 "This has got to be a joke," this was the thought running through my head as I was walking home from school yesterday. By “this” I mean, my life; this has got to be some type of weird joke the universe is playing on me. Two years ago, this might have fallen under the category of, “This is not my life.” Any who, what brought me to tears yesterday was this: my brother had called me at school and we were enjoying a great conversation about something, probably politics or religion or something, when Joel has to go. He says, “Call me later.” And we hang up. The only problem is I can’t call him later because I can’t make outgoing calls on my phone. Let’s back up to the beginning of this school year ….

I was involuntarily transferred out to Coffman Cove. Emily Trackers know that I was less than pleased about this move and considered quitting, but I didn’t. I moved back to Coffman Cove. In CC, there is no cellphone reception, so when I moved into my apartment in September I talked with my homies at Alaska Communication Services about hooking up a landline.  Two months later they made it to the island and hooked it up. GREAT! I thought, it will be nice to have a phone at my house, since I live alone, don’t have Internet access and all my friends live on the other side of the island. YIPEE! But, there’s a catch: I can only call people in Coffman Cove, ACS does not offer long distance calling, only ATT offers that service here. For the record, I’ve needed to call somebody in Coffman Cove exactly zero times since I moved into this place. So as it stood, I just paid a lot of money for a phone that I had no use for. Any who, this problem seems easy enough to solve, simply call ATT and ask them to hook up the long distance, right? WRONG! I’m now having dejavu from living here before. Without exaggeration I have spent several hours over the last week talking to many different people in that corporation that have no  idea what the hell I’m talking about. All roads lead to one of these two conclusions:

1.     Have you thought about our wireless services? Why don’t you just get a cellphone? (Answer: because there is NO CELLPHONE RECEPTION here, why do you think I have a land line in the first place!?!)

2.     We don’t offer that service in your area (Answer: YES YOU DO, everybody in this town has long distance calling through you).

It was amazing to me, I had more than three customer service agents just straight up tell me that they could not help me. Then I remember (from last time), that I need to talk to somebody in AK to solve this problem. So I call the people in Ketchikan (just across Clarence Straits) and they too inform me that they don’t offer that service on POW, it’s Alaska Power and Telephone (not true).

So, for like four nights in a row, after work, I leave defeated, last night included. So as I’m walking home, I’m like, what the hell am I doing? I’m living on a island in Alaska with no way of contacting anybody that I love or care about … unless you consider the Internet, which I’m grateful for, but I have to be at school to use. Anyways, I just start crying, this is after James informed me that my plans (kayaking) for Saturday have now changed because we have an archery tournament in Coffman Cove and I have to be there. I am so jaded and tired. I’m sick of this school district trying to suck the life out of me. Lots of teachers here justify it because (and I agree) they say it’s a great place to raise kids, it provides a lot of opportunity, it’s really safe, etc. Well guess what? I don’t have any damn children and I’m not sure what I’m doing here.

I think the icing on the cake was that I wanted to go to a two-day training next week in Craig to teach survival skills to kids. The training is FREE. I thought I would have no problem getting clearance to go, as it’s a great opportunity. My principal informed me that I would have to pay for my own sub and use my personal days, and then tried to pass it off like this is protocol. Which is complete bullshit. You might remember that when I was in good standing with my district, they sent me to Juneau for Wilderness First Responder training for 10 days and paid for the whole damn thing.

On the brighter side of things, I spoke with somebody in Anchorage ATT today and was finally able to establish long distance calling on my phone. Hopefully it will start next week! In the mean time, holler at me: 907-329-2211

Constantly Outraged

Peace

Those of you who follow me on Facebook should be aware of how my 9th graders described me this week:

Likes reading and writing editorials
Constantly outraged
Has an opinion about EVERYTHING

This was in class as we were talking about people who write letters to the editor. Some how our discussion drifted (as it often does) and we were talking about writing biographies when one of my students proposed the idea of writing one for me and that's when they all (3 of them) chimed in. I thought this was funny and mildly appropriate. What was more funny was when I was retelling the story later on to my friends...

In the same conversation where I was explaining my surprise of this description, I was also explaining my lack of understanding (outrage, perhaps?) about a fellow teacher who was complaining to me that she didn’t wake up early enough to make a cup of coffee. We were at a meeting, at a school run by Mormons, so there was no coffee. I just looked at her and was like, “What? How long does it take to make a f-ing cup of coffee? Don’t stand here and act like you need coffee when you can’t even get up five minutes early to make it.” I was insulted; it always pisses me off when people don’t appreciate coffee. Any who, I’m explaining this to my friends and there like, "Maybe that’s what they mean about constantly being outraged and having an opinion about everything. I mean, who cares if she didn’t wake up early enough to make coffee?" To be clear, the issue is not that she didn’t wake up early enough, it’s that she was trying to act like she LOVED coffee and really NEEDED it. Give me a break; if you NEED or LOVE something, you wake up five minutes early to make it. Furthermore, who the hell are these people who are walking around un-caffeinated? Even the Mormons drink soda in the morning to get their fix. Some people!?!

Being a Ladenburg, and growing up in the twenty-first century in the Pacific Northwest, I assume that every person is opinionated. As I’ve gotten older and further away from Washington and my family; I realize that this is not the case, and I think that’s unfortunate. It seems so inherent and natural that I can’t even imagine a life without it…..original thought and what not.

For the record, I fully understand how this constantly being outraged flies directly in the face of the peaceful exterior I’ve been trying to foster as an adult. I’m working on it. 

"If you want Peace, teach Peace."  (It's really that simple)

“Oh, commitment issues"

This picture doesn't need a caption.

 

Totally forgot to post about this one: a little over a month ago, before school started, at an island wide inservice (with multiple districts), I was in a group of teachers that I had never met. We were doing this silly ice breaker thing. Any who, a teacher from a different school district introduces himself: from Utah, brought his two younger kids with him (he has 7, of course), etc. So I’m thinking, “Mormon!” Who cares? I just think it’s funny that they’re so stereotypical. 

Later on in the day, at lunch, this guy (the Mormon) sits down next to me and asks me, “If I have any kids yet?” Of course I say NO, to which he follows up with, “…really? It seems like on an island like this you should have no problem finding a mate….oh I get it, commitment issues.” I just stared blankly at him, and then got up and moved to another table. This is funny for soooo many reasons. First, I like that he included ‘yet,’ because obviously I’m planning on having children, because I mean, like, what else are women for? Second, what an incredibly inappropriate question and response. I’ve experienced this a lot with people who move out of Utah (or really anywhere they’ve lived their whole life) and don’t understand social boundries. This guy is a f-ing adult. A professional! A teacher, no less! I saw him last weekend at a XC meet, and it totally made me laugh out loud.

I've been trying to get this one out for awhile

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New Digs (yep that's Clarence Straits)

When you spend 10 minutes at school looking for car keys that have been in the ignition the entire time. Funny thing about this is that I’ve been leaving my keys in the ignition every since I moved to this island. It made me smile and reminded me that I live in a really safe place.

 I’m currently drinking a whiskey ginger (with homemade ginger ale!!) watching a storm roll in from Clarence Straits from my new pad in Coffman. Life could definitely be worse.

Happs? Where to start…I don’t even know. This job is so overwhelming and consuming that sometimes I don’t  know where school ends and I begin. Sometimes I just have to laugh. Why does anybody do this?

I know the answer, it’s really rewarding. Let’s see, I’ll start with the bad and finish with the good. Something very troubling that happened lately, about a month ago most of our middle school and high school students (all 10 of them) went to a leadership “lock in” on the other side of the island for the weekend. It’s a great opportunity for them; I’m a total proponent of Phlight Club (that’s the name, don’t ask me why). Any who, we needed a chaperone to go with them (again all of Friday and Saturday), James (the savior that I work with) arranged for two teachers from other schools to watch our kids; he had to stay home to watch his own kids. I didn’t want to go because at this point I was still commuting from Thorne Bay (an hour each way), sleep deprived, and starting to get sick. I didn’t want to be “locked in” to a school for two and half days with 50 kids…crazy I know. At any rate, my Superintendent (the same guy who moved me out here) thought it “defied all logic” to send 10 students and no chaperone. James and I tried to explain that while we were not going, we had chaperones covered. This did not satisfy the guy, and he basically tried to strong-arm me into going. I thought long and hard about and decided that I didn’t want to go and that I wasn’t going. The long and short of this is that I managed to piss off the entire administration. I’ll remind you that over half of this camp was outside of my contracted teacher workday so it’s not like they could “make” me go. Anyways, the Superintendent was out to my school last week and literally didn’t even look at me. He told James that he’s “really pissed.” WHATEVER. You know what, I’m really pissed! This job is ridiculously demanding, and I’m all right with that. I know that the more I put in the more I get out, but I can’t do everything. I’m willing to do 98%, but occasionally when I wont commit to doing an extracurricular activity, I want that to be all right too. As if I needed more reason to find a new job next year, give me a break.

Second funny thing… last week I got to school at my normal hour (7am) and was asked to be back at school by six to make sure the school was open for archery practice, and be prepared to coach if the coach didn’t show up. Whatever, I usually stay at school until six anyways, no big deal. Six o’clock rolls around and I open up the school to one drunk coach (typical), I’m just relieved I don’t have to coach because I’m tired (again I’m pushing almost 12 hours at school). I’m making small talk with the coach who is a parent of two of my students and I’m like, “How’s it goin?” And he’s like, “I’m tired, I’VE been working all day.” Now, I’m not sure if he meant it this way, but this is definitely how I perceived it….”You wouldn’t know anything about working, but I’ve been working all day.”

 I was just standing there thinking, “What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing all day? At least your job allows you to be drunk.” This guy is totally harmless, I actually really like him and his family, but this exchange almost pissed me off, instead I laughed. I seriously wonder what he thinks I do all day.

Okay, good news! Let’s see, I moved into my new place and it’s AMAZING! It’s warm, has no bugs, and a GREAT view. Seriously, everyone should come visit me in the next nine months, because I don’t know if I mentioned this, but it will probably be my last. The best part about my apartment is that there’s a big window that looks out to Clarence Straits and I position my yoga map directly in front, yes my own personal yoga studio. Last week I saw some whales migrating south from my window. I’ve been practicing with one of my student’s parents, which has been great. That is one thing that I can say about Coffman, a little more progressive than Thorne Bay and THANKFULLY way less fundis!

My new place does not have a washing machine or dryer so I’m back at the school for all of my laundry needs. No worries, we have a really efficient machine at school. Other nonconventional activites at school include composting. I’ve been in such a routine of composting that it’s hard for me to stop. Luckily, even though I don’t have my own compost at my place, the school  has two greenhouses, several raised beds, and an orchard that does have a proper compost pile. It feels a little funny carrying my compost and dirty laundry to school, but whateves, it’s Alaska, I guess.

Last funny thing, I had some people over this weekend for a house warming and wanted to vacuum the one rug in my place. I decided that since I don’t own a vacuum I would just borrow the schools (completely logical). The school has a really nice Dyson (lucky). Any who, by the time I get around to going back to school to borrow the vacuum, somebody else has beat me to the punch. The vacuum was gone. It was eventually returned, but it does make me laugh. There’s a reason I have no problem using the school facilities and resources like their my own. EVERY ONE in this community behaves in the same manner. It’s a combination of a sense of entitlement and community. I’m not complaining, just observing. 

This picture has nothing to do with what's actually going in my life right now. 

What else? I’m done be angry about the district moving me out here, what a relief. Being angry is such a burden. Um…… I’m almost finished with the last season of West Wing…..I’m reading Animal Farm by George Orwell with my 9^th grade English class. Volleyball is starting….XC is almost over. I’m hosting Dining for Women tomorrow night. I don’t know, so much happening, you should just know that I’m overjoyed to be in my new place and feel blessed that I’ve been given a little space to figure our my next step.

It's going to be good

I'm just about done being pissed about this whole thing. It's taken way longer than I anticipated..the anger actually really caught me off guard. Any who, I'm in the process of moving to Coffman, the commute from Thorne Bay is over and the kids here are great! 

I'm taking the HS students to a dance in Thorne Bay on Thursday night. We're learning a dance to the Maxklemore song, "Thrift Shop." It's f-ing awesome! Flash Mob in Thorne Bay!!

Quote of the week:

"Nobody said we were going to have to run." ~ 4th grader at XC practice after stopping before we got off campus

I don't want to do this

Sea Lions getting destroyed by waves near North Inian Passage

F! I am really struggling with this move. I know that there are two things going on here. One is just my attachment to Thorne Bay…I was ready to go back to something that I was comfortable and familiar with: kids, staff, town, etc. My decision to sign a contract last spring was a tough one. Eventually I ended up signing it because I was comfortable and I didn’t have time to look for a new job with the requirements of my current job and attempting to finish my teaching program. My decision pretty much came down to the fact that I was offered a full-time position in Thorne Bay, primarily teaching social studies. Not an easy position to secure. I also took into consideration the fact that I have friends and a sense of community in Thorne Bay. While my living situation was not perfect, I was comfortable and could not stand the idea of looking for a new job or worse, not teaching this year. After I signed my contract in April I was relieved that I had done so. I knew that it was the right decision.

Now, I’m just angry. It’s been a lot harder to get over this situation than I was anticipating. The reality is that I don’t want to be teaching or living in Coffman Cove. I don’t really see how this is going to prepare me for the future. I’m a secondary social studies teacher. I don't have any interest in teaching elementary or running a school. I’m not looking forward to all the bullshit that comes with being at such a small site. Fundraising and PTA’s make me sick. Not to mention the people out here are so crazy. This is not at all what I thought I was signing up for and I’m really sad and very angry. To add insult to injury, I can’t find a place to live. So I’m currently commuting from Thorne Bay. I’m seriously considering quitting. I don't know if I can get over this. 

My last 9 month on Prince of Wales Island

Elfin Cove Thrift Shop

Ask me what I'm doing right now. Getting ready for the school? Planning lessons? Collaborating with teachers in Thorne Bay? WRONG! Currently I'm getting ready to drive out to Coffman Cove. Why you ask? Oh, to look for a place to live. Why? Because I am being involuntary transferred to Coffman Cove for the school year. Yes, Coffman is the place that I first taught when I got here. Check the archives for stories. 

I'm f-ing outraged.

It's a really long story but about a week ago (two weeks before school starts) I got an email from my Superintendent informing me that the teacher they had lined up for Coffman this year has lost his license to teach, and that after a lot of deliberation, I was the chosen one. You can imagine my surprise/terror. Don't worry, he says, I'll let you out of your contract if you don't want to move/teach out there. Thanks, two weeks before school start, while I'm living in a place with almost no internets (seriously slower than dial up). I threatened to quit and they didn't seem convinced...my options were pretty limited: teach in Coffman or not teach this school year. I chose the former because I need to be teaching, for a lot of reasons. So I'm not happy about it, but I'm going to try to make the best of it and now I'm living my life likes it my last year on POW because it def is! 

I have a lot of adventure that I missed out on in the last two years. Not again! 

"There is no way to Peace, Peace is the way."